Part 94: 8/25-8/27: Nice Job On The Pedophilia, Bro

Part 92: 8/25-8/27: Nice Job On The Pedophilia, Bro



Anon: I understand the praise…
Anon: what a time to be alive
Anon: shit ain’t that easy

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



This will be a stressful turn of events…

Music: Alright



But I’ve never had her do anything like that before. Is she gonna be OK?



This isn’t the same as taking care of a cat, you know?
D-Don’t worry. I did graduate middle school last year… I-I’ll be fine if I just think of this as my first summer job of high school!
Well in that case… how about you wash the dishes? Just don’t push yourself too hard, OK?




Hey, are you all right?



Sure thing.




O-Oui!

Phrase de blague mal traduite créée en ligne.



Man, smooth as always. What number Bond girl is this, Boss?

Jesus christ

It’s not like that.

You usually go for the older ones, right? It’s only natural you’d want someone younger sometimes.

Even ignoring the bit where this guy doesn’t know Futaba’s his daughter, this motherfucker’s basically going, “Congrats on banging the fifteen-year-old, dude!” Can we kick this dude’s ass already?

It’s like the Guatemala Peaberry coffee. Its acidic sweetness is akin to a breath of fresh air.
Sorry, we’re serving a blend today.





Not quite what I had in mind, but something, nonetheless.

Yo, here’s your coffee.
When in the world did she… Hey, Futaba. Haven’t I told you not to show up in front of people with that damn thing on? And be more polite when you’re bringing something to a customer.
H-H-Here is your coffee… sir.





Huh. Turns out this is pretty easy.
To think Futaba’d go out and talk to a customer herself… Mask aside, I’m impressed. Looks like people really can change.
Sojiro! Want me to bring coffee to more customers?
Mask off first.
H-Hrghhh… I’ll think about it.

Music: Beneath the Mask




Like hell we’d do that!
Why the question?
I overheard someone in the city saying they’re our acquaintance.
Talk about false rumors.



Well… yeah…



So she showed up in front of customers with that thing on…
Anyways, you better get used to it fast. You can’t be a phantom thief if you’re scared of people!
I’ll try my best.






They have stated they are “investigating it carefully,” with no mention of the Phantom Thieves. Many people have voiced their disappointment in the police, and…
The police really lost a lot of face. It’s really not their fault, though.

How is it not their fault? They didn’t do shit!




I’ve been waiting for you! You won’t believe what happened!



Now, please take a seat…

Music: Alright (Elp Version)



I even managed to use my own powers to alter some fates that had once seemed inevitable…! I suppose all you really need to change fate is a strong will, like what you have. I wish I could do more though…




F-Fukurai-san!?

Music: Suspicion



I’ve been wondering… why are you so interested in Mifune-kun?



And that’s why you volunteered to apprentice under her? You must be quite a big fan… That aside, I have to commend your judgment in choosing Mifune-kun. Her fortunes are like a light, guiding lost lambs through the unending darkness ahead.
By the way, Hamiru-san… This man here is Fukurai-san. He’s, um… the chairman of the ADP. Oh right, you don’t know about the ADP yet! It stands for...



Our goal is to relieve the hearts and minds of today’s weary souls via healing events and seminars.



Uh-oh. I wiki’d the ending of the Gourmet King Social Link from P3, and I’m hip to your bullshit, old man. This sounds weirdly culty!

We also sell Holy Stones, the well from which our divine power springs. They are a large part of our business.
Fukurai-san, um…
That reminds me, Yokoda-kun was telling me you’ve been acting a little… strange recently. More importantly, it seems you’ve started falling behind on your Holy Stone sales quotas. Is everything OK?
Y-Yes. I’ll cover the decrease in revenue with my fortune-telling fees… …… Um, Fukurai-san… I, um… I’m not sure how effective these Holy Stones really are…
Excuse me?
W-Well…
Do you remember who showed you the way when you arrived here from the countryside, lost and confused? Do you remember who saved you when you were stuck working in a seedy club with no place to turn? It was me. Are you saying you no longer have trust in someone who’s done so much for you?
Th-That’s not it…
Then enough of this skepticism. Just focus on continuing your role as the Maiden of Relief. Read the futures of those unfortunate souls who come to us and lead them to salvation with the Holy Stones…



Hmph. There is no salvation for those who joke.
I…
You don’t want things to go back to how they were… do you, Mifune-kun? Don’t you remember breaking down in front of me? Telling me how everyone called you a monster? If you don’t carry your weight as the Maiden of Relief, you’ll be exactly that… A monster.



Hamiru-san…
...Fine. If you want to spend your time fooling around with this child, go right ahead. But don’t forget, Mifune-kun: The ADP is the only place you’ll ever belong.



I-I’ve never actually worked at a night club! I did get tricked into walking into one though… Anyway, the chairman is known for exaggerating details. …… You must think I’m weird, huh? All this talk about me being a maiden or a monster…




By the way, it was pretty amazing how we stood up to the chairman back there.

Yeah, “we.”

I would never have been able to talk to him about the Holy Stones had I been alone… But your strength helped me speak up. I need to be strong like you more often…
I can sense a strong resolve from Chihaya...



Even so, the chairman seems serious about the whole Holy Stone issue. He’ll make me pay a fine if I don’t meet my quotes… and there’s a huge penalty for resigning from my post… I suppose my fate is impossible to change after all… Anyway, I should close up for today! Good night!

Poor Chihaya.



That would be awesome! Why not make a request on the forum?
That Akechi is all talk, isn’t he?
Why is he so hostile toward the Phantom Thieves?
Right!? Some people just can’t read the mood…

Anon: c’mon, next!
Anon: Now everyone can be happy!
Anon: i bet it’s worldwide news
Anon: so popular… im jelly
Anon: I knew it!!! hahaha
Anon: Thanks, Phantom Thieves!



Anon: destroy all evil!

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



Huh? Do we not have anything planned…?




Honestly, I wanted to bring Futaba along with us…
We can’t just take her into crowds like that though! That’d be way too soon!
Sometimes drastic measures are necessary.
Such spiky words…
You know you’d need to do this someday, right?
Actually, Queen’s clothes have lots of spikes too. They’d prolly pierce my hand if I touched them.
I have honestly considered that possibility as well.
You too, Yusuke!?
Hey this sounds like fun. I wanna join in.
We’re talking to Futaba! This doesn’t involve you!
Note: Ann is cold to Ryuji.
Don’t take notes on this… Anyway, look forward to us coming over!
My heart’s pounding…
...Just what are they scheming?



Hey, miss! Want me to steal your heart?
Is that a pick-up line? Don’t make me laugh.
Apparently they’re even famous overseas! Isn’t that nuts?
I wish I could join the Phantom Thieves...

Anon: phantom thieves = godly!!
Anon: I have to accept it now…
Anon: better than the cops
Anon: A landmark win for justice!
Anon: Leave everything to them~
Anon: So who ARE these heroes?
Anon: The world needs to see this!
Anon: justice was w/the thieves.
Anon: hey steal my heart too!!

Music: Break it Down



Hrmm… I dunno. I can’t really tell.
People cannot change their deep-seated habits that easily.
Well, let’s just say you’ve made some progress for now.



Ack! S-Stop it! You’re gonna pull my cheeks off!
Man, those girls’re late. Who do they think they are, makin’ us wait like this?



Please excuse us.



Looking? Looking at what…?
A swimsuit, of course. For Futaba-chan.
A-A s-s-swimsuit!?
You don’t have one, do you?
No, but…
OK. Let’s have you try it on right now then.



N-N-N-Now!?
You can’t go to the beach if you don’t have a good-fitting swimsuit. We don’t have much time left, you know.
Uh, but… Ummm… Uhhhh…!




Music: My Homie



I know, right? ...There we go. It’s on.
What the!? This barely covers anything!
That’s normal for a swimsuit. Now, we just need to push these a little more this way…
Gyah!
Push…?
Are you supposed to move them with that much force…?
You gotta put some oomph into this stuff… There! Good to go!
Whoa, even I’m impressed…!

You guys obviously can’t see it, but I’m vigorously rubbing my temples right now.

I wonder what they’re doin’ up there.
They’re… having her try on the swimsuit, right? What else could they be doing?
Futaba in a swimsuit, hm…? I suspect that would make a great painting. Perhaps we should ask Makoto about it?



ME!?
I humbly request you do so as well.
Hell no!
You guys are such children.



Yeah, we’re goin’ to the beach pretty soon so they’re trying some swimsuits out.
Futaba’s going to the beach… I didn’t think I’d ever see her take that much interest in going outside again…
Well then, it seems we’re good to go with the swimsuit.
All flattery aside, I think it looks really great! Now you just gotta get rid of those round shoulders. Come on, straighten out your back.
R-Right…
She might be some trouble, but I hope she can make some great memories with you guys.

Music: Beneath the Mask -Rain-




All that’s left is for Futaba to prepare herself mentally.
I can do this. I can… I think. Maybe.
So you’re not confident.
Shuddup, Inari.




I doubt it’s anything good.
That said, we don’t have enough information right now… We’ll need to investigate more.
I’ll help out too.
Can we talk about this some other time? I’m so damn sleepy…
OK, good night then! Futaba-chan, good luck tomorrow too!



We need to work harder to help Futaba make some good memories.



Actually, never mind. It would be weird for me to wear clothes. Wait a second… Does that mean I’m naked right now?



Sooner or later, we need to decide what we want to do from here on out.



After the commercial break, let’s see if we can reveal some of the mysteries surrounding them!
Phantom Thieves are extremely popular among young people. I hear some even think of them like gods.



Here’s something we forgot to do: set up that game console we bought at the second-hand store a while back!





We’re not actually going to play it yet, but whatever.

Music: Crossroads



Why don’t you sit and wait it out? I’m sure you brought me some good info, right? The higher-ups are starting to get tired of one-off articles. You have anything good to share?



All right, let’s hear it.



Wait, we’re talking about Akechi? I’m only like Confidant Rank 2 with the guy, I really don’t know much about him! And what could she possibly be learning about him from me that she couldn’t find out by turning on the television?

I see… Oh yeah… There’s something I need to apologize to you about. You know, it’s part of my job to research particular things. Well, um… I ended up finding out about… your criminal record.



Whoops, Confidant over, guess we’re not a reliable source anymore!

……
I realized you weren’t just some ordinary kid back with my chief… So I did some digging out of curiosity… and I found a ton more than I was expecting. So… sorry about that. I have to say though, the ruling made in your case was really odd. Some kind of deal must have gone down behind the scenes to make sure that was the end result. That must’ve been tough for you to handle. You’re just a kid…




Exactly. I’m going to avenge my partner for-- ...Whoops. Lala-chan, refill!
No. It’s your turn to tell the truth. You can’t go rooting around in the kid’s past and expect to keep your own secrets hidden.
W-Wait, don’t blame me for that! He doesn’t have anything to do with my private business…



I mean, it’s not like I don’t trust you… and hold on a sec! Why am I getting treated like the bad guy!?
Look, you’re gonna feel way better talking to someone who understands exactly what you’re going through. Besides, you’ll explode if you keep all that alcohol-fueled anxiety bottled up in you.
That’s true. And… I guess this is the fairest course of action for our business partnership, huh? Just… don’t tell anyone, OK? Back when I covered politics for my publisher, I had a partner who helped with photography… Kayo Murakami. We were a pretty well-known team in the industry. We blew the lids off countless scandals together. ...That is, until that day came.

Music: Suspicion

We were on the trail of a certain bureaucrat, who was involved in a slush fund to support refugees. He kept himself pretty well guarded, so it was almost impossible to get any solid leads on the guy… Then one night, I got a voicemail from Kayo saying she had gotten hold of something big. But… that was the last I ever heard from her. The next day, that bureaucrat was found dead at a love hotel… and Kayo had gone missing.



Well…
The cause of death is unknown… The authorities couldn’t tell whether it was a murder or a suicide.

Where have I heard that before?

As for the killer...



Wait, if they didn’t know if it was a murder or a suicide, how did they accuse her of killing him?

That’s impossible though! She never would have slept with a disgusting man like that!

Right, because she was your “partner.” I think I see where this is going.

And more importantly, it’s pretty damn fucked up to make allegations like that without any evidence!
Ichiko-chan.
...Sorry. The case was closed, but we never found the truth…. And Kayo was labeled a professional disgrace. And since we were partners, the company decided it would be best to move me to another department. I’m going to prove Kayo’s innocence though. That’s why I’m conducting my own private investigation now.




But… thanks to all the info you’ve been giving me, I should have more time to focus on my investigation. I won’t let this opportunity slip through my fingers. ...All right, we’re even now! I didn’t enjoy it though.
You sure about that? It’s been ages since I’ve seen you smile this much.
W-Well… maybe you’re right. I haven’t felt this alive in a long time. OK then, I’ll write a great article to commemorate our sharing session! “Exclusive: The Phantom Thieves’ Lofty Ideals in Connection with a Secret Society!” Haha, just kidding! Don’t worry, I’ll definitely come up with a better headline before we go to print!
I feel like my bond with Ohya is growing deeper...



Still… there’s just one thing that bothers me. There’s no doubt the chief is on to my investigation. Maybe we should keep acting like a couple so we can trick him. How’s that sound?

Please don’t make me your beard.

Oh, leave the kid alone. (to Maaku) Hey, it’s getting late. Shouldn’t you be heading home by now?



Anon: modern day robin hoods~

Music: Alright



Let’s see… Wanna eat together? Y’know, like how we had hot pot that one time.
That may be a good idea. It’ll be a great way to strengthen our intrasquad friendships.
I-I can do that!
OK, I’ll take a cola and an omelette with rice. Oh, and make that a large please.
I’d like the same.



No, but this is for Futaba’s sake.
...Fine. You owe me, got it?
I want the same. Extra large.



This is around the point that I noticed Futaba sits like L for some reason.

Damn, Futaba! I’m impressed!
Indeed, your appetite is quite nice to see. I much prefer that to women who don’t eat a lot.
...You’d better not be hitting on me.
How rude!
Sojirooo, help meee!
Will you stop that!?




Let’s go with that then…



Thank you.
I want iced cocoa!
(to Ryuji) You can’t handle bitter stuff either, right? Iced cocoa sound good?
Yeah, definitely! Extra cold, please!
Hm, I don’t think we’ve ever had a lunch this exciting.



Music: Beneath the Mask -Rain-




Does it look like she can go soon?
Well, she HAS started to talk a lot more.
She’s made great progress compared to how she was at the beginning.
Thoughts, Futaba? Will you be able to do this tomorrow perhaps?
Tomorrow!?



Hmm…

(pause)

I should be good if it’s the day after tomorrow. I think?
We’ll go the day after tomorrow then!

I was gonna photoshop Futaba’s head onto the Statue of Liberty from the poster for The Day After Tomorrow but it would have looked really shitty and also I’m lazy.

Just let us know if you aren’t up for it, Futaba. OK?
It’s all right. I can do this.
Looks like we know when we’ll actually finish up now. The beach is finally within reach!





Time to feed the plant.

Maaku gains Kindness +3.



People continue to praise the Phantom Thieves, who are thought to have prevented the attack. The Phantom Thieves’ popularity, which began online, is expanding beyond the internet. Phantom Thieves have become a social phenomenon, with everyone around town talking about them.
Everyone’s really talking about us! It’s like we hit the big time!




Let’s read the book we bought at Book Town.

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)



Learning about the spirit of the samurai seems useful, but this book looks difficult…